Recovery

The Silent Shame of Bulimia

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 06/27/2016 - 07:48

                

                                                                  Image Credit

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.

Unlike anorexia, which is characterized by discipline, restraint, self-sacrifice—traits that society upholds as virtuous—bulimia traffics in a consuming, corrosive sense of shame. After all, there is nothing respectable about gorging yourself past the point of physical discomfort. There is nothing dignified about jamming your fist in your mouth to induce vomiting. Habitually wrapping lies around your self-destructive behavior is far from honorable.

In Defense of Obsession

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 06/22/2016 - 11:24

                                                               Image Credit

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some, please read with caution.

When I look back on my life, I am amazed by some of the things I did and said when I was affected by anorexia. During eighth grade, I became a vegetarian for half a year. While I told my parents it was for humanitarian reasons, it gave me an excuse to only eat the side dishes at meals. 

Writing My Recovery

Submitted by adminOWG on Mon, 06/13/2016 - 08:26

 

I recently decided to tackle the subject of my eating disorder in a play. I signed up for a weekend workshop and committed myself to exploring an idea about developing a one man show. Now, over the 10 plus years of my journey with this eating disorder, I have tried this before. I’ve always felt the desire and drive to write a show about this profound experience of being at war with myself – but I’d never managed to do it. So often, the material was just too close; I was still too deep into it. I couldn’t find a voice that had any perspective. It all came out cliché, or every word was so laboured over that it didn’t sound like me.

 

Time is Your New Best Friend!

Submitted by adminOWG on Mon, 05/30/2016 - 14:34

time



My beautiful, kind niece contacted me the other day. She had sent a text message sharing how she was struggling with her self-confidence. A couple of things entered my mind at that moment: how very proud I was of her to reach out to someone, followed immediately by the question ‘what was I going to share with her?’ This conversation was very important to me, so before picking up the phone I took the time to reflect back on my own experience over the past 8 years. I thought about what had made an impact on me in hopes it would provide the same impact for her.

"Just Eat More"

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 05/16/2016 - 08:59

               

            If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words “Just Eat More” thrown at me- well, I might not quite be a millionaire, but I’d certainly have a lump sum saved for a rainy day. Those words would come from all sorts of people around me - my parents (initially), my friends, and the people I’d come to meet routinely at the gym when I told them about my eating concerns. Time and time again, I would be ‘advised’ to simply order more, or to grab an extra piece; or worst of all, a friend at a dinner party would do it for me and give me this look of victory, as if they had accomplished some sort of dignifying act of intervention. Thanks, but it doesn’t quite work like that.

The Last Stronghold: Exercise Addiction

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 05/11/2016 - 18:50

One of my eating disorder’s last “strongholds” was exercise addiction.

But truthfully, I’m not sure if exercise addiction is the right word. You see, I was “working out” 3 times a week, and certainly not in a way that outsiders would see as excessive. But it was the thoughts and motivation behind exercise that called it into question.

The Final Entry

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 04/25/2016 - 08:19

For a decade, time consisted of psychologists, psychiatrists, and hospital admissions; one after another. I was slowly losing the battle, but not fully.  A decade of illness finally took its toll on me. I was slowly sinking into a deeper and deeper depression, and feeling real emotions for the first time; especially hurt and anger. 

Cleaning Up and Creating Space

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 04/11/2016 - 09:15

I decided last week to clean out my bedroom and give it a bit of a Spring makeover. I believe it is great to switch things up every once in a while; especially after you mark a new season, as it generally is a time for new beginnings!

I did not imagine that cleaning my room would take as long as it did, but once I started, I began digging up quite a lot of things. Who knew that my moderate-sized bedroom could hold so much stuff? An abundance of papers, photos, schoolwork from elementary school, clothing, old toys...oh yes, you name it! My bedroom essentially was a time capsule of everything that had happened in my life up until now.

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