Coping

How far do I go back? How far do I need to go back?

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 08/24/2016 - 10:56

                                  

                                                       Photo Credit: Dave Martyn

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.

It was like walking into shadows for all those years, at first I fought it, wrestled with it, then let myself sink deeper down and gave into all those urges and destructions that ran through me. My entire life feels like one big waiting game. Waiting for death; waiting for life to begin; waiting for help; waiting for people to leave me alone; waiting to be saved.

My Road to Recovery - Anything but a Straight Line

Submitted by nedic blogger on Thu, 08/18/2016 - 17:31

 

                                        

 

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.

Over the past four years I have been admitted to treatment six times, had my parents bail me out of jail four times, ruined countless relationships, and lost faith in myself. Not only have I been in a decade long battle with anorexia, I also developed an addiction to alcohol in my early twenties.

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Will the Real “ME” Please Stand Up? – A Holistic Approach to Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 07/20/2016 - 11:34

        

                                                                  Image Credit

So, what’s in a plan, anyway?

In short – the answer is NOTHING. But, it took me a while to realize and fully understand this.

I thought that my plans defined me, and when I deviated from them it automatically meant failure; as a person, in my beliefs, and every part of my being. My plans were what made me proud, made me feel like I was successful, and made me feel complete. 

Wife No. 3 in Abu Dhabi - Bulimia and Broken Dreams

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 07/06/2016 - 11:53

                                              

                                                  Photo taken by Maha Khan in Abu Dhabi.

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.

I had a very strange childhood. I was born in Belarus and raised in the UK by my father’s mother, and learned many life lessons in very hard ways. I was raised by a grandmother who lived on benefits(British welfare) and enjoyed watching EastEnders (a British sitcom) all the time. She was an addict. My father eventually remarried and was absent from my life. 

The Silent Shame of Bulimia

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 06/27/2016 - 07:48

                

                                                                  Image Credit

TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some individuals - please read with caution.

Unlike anorexia, which is characterized by discipline, restraint, self-sacrifice—traits that society upholds as virtuous—bulimia traffics in a consuming, corrosive sense of shame. After all, there is nothing respectable about gorging yourself past the point of physical discomfort. There is nothing dignified about jamming your fist in your mouth to induce vomiting. Habitually wrapping lies around your self-destructive behavior is far from honorable.

In Defense of Obsession

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 06/22/2016 - 11:24

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TRIGGER WARNING: the following material may be triggering for some, please read with caution.

When I look back on my life, I am amazed by some of the things I did and said when I was affected by anorexia. During eighth grade, I became a vegetarian for half a year. While I told my parents it was for humanitarian reasons, it gave me an excuse to only eat the side dishes at meals. 

"Just Eat More"

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 05/16/2016 - 08:59

               

            If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words “Just Eat More” thrown at me- well, I might not quite be a millionaire, but I’d certainly have a lump sum saved for a rainy day. Those words would come from all sorts of people around me - my parents (initially), my friends, and the people I’d come to meet routinely at the gym when I told them about my eating concerns. Time and time again, I would be ‘advised’ to simply order more, or to grab an extra piece; or worst of all, a friend at a dinner party would do it for me and give me this look of victory, as if they had accomplished some sort of dignifying act of intervention. Thanks, but it doesn’t quite work like that.

Mental Health is for Everyone

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 05/02/2016 - 07:24

We hear the statistics: one in five people have a mental illness but what does that say about the mental well-being of the other four? Mental health is more than the absence of mental illness. It’s a state of well-being. Mental health is something we all can benefit from working towards.  

The Final Entry

Submitted by nedic blogger on Mon, 04/25/2016 - 08:19

For a decade, time consisted of psychologists, psychiatrists, and hospital admissions; one after another. I was slowly losing the battle, but not fully.  A decade of illness finally took its toll on me. I was slowly sinking into a deeper and deeper depression, and feeling real emotions for the first time; especially hurt and anger. 

Trapped Inside Myself

Submitted by nedic blogger on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 12:53

 

I feel like I am trapped inside myself. I am smart, logical and capable. I am a grown woman with a beautiful house, loving husband, and a steady career that is both rewarding and challenging. On top of it all, I have an energetic and adorable puppy. Yet, when it comes to this disorder, I feel out of control, illogical, irrational and...stupid. I know the damage that my actions cause to my body. I know that to someone on the outside it is seemingly simple to just stop.

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