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It was 2pm on a Tuesday, and there I was – crying, naked on my bathroom floor. I’d been there for hours, trapped in my own mind. The day had started off simply enough with me getting out of bed and getting ready to work when the inevitable, “Feed me breakfast!” battle cry rumbled loudly from my stomach.
This submission was originally posted on I AM THAT GIRL
Dear Allison,
I know you’ve been hurting for a long time. Silently suffering so as not to burden the ones that you love. The gorgeous smile on the outside completely masks the war that is taking place within you. I know your pain and I know your struggle and I want you to know something important:
Holidays are a time to be thankful for what you have and giving to others – but they are also a time of abundant food-oriented activities spent with friends and family. This time can be anxiety-provoking, triggering and distressing for someone recovering from an eating disorder. As the holidays come to a close, we are faced with the upcoming New Year. In our culture, New Years is idealized as a time for major change and reinvention. Every year, many of us make New Year’s resolutions – these resolutions invite us to think about our selves and how we’d like to be. Although this can be a time of healthy reflection - for some, it can also be a time when disordered thinking emerges. A time that triggers uncontrollable urges to make rigorous rules regarding eating, dieting and exercising. New Years resolutions can stir strict, critical and perfectionist thoughts and lure some off the track of recovery.
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY FROM THE NATIONAL EATING DISORDER INFORMATION CENTRE!
The staff, students, and volunteers here at the National Eating Disorder Information Centre want to wish you a very happy International Women’s Day. Today, we are highlighting the work of a Rhiannon Flatman, a blogger in Australia, whose writing focuses on her journey to recovery – a journey that many women can relate to. We hope that you’ll join us in celebrating our natural sizes not just today, but all year long.
The Road to Recovery – You Can Do It!
January is here - when everyone makes their resolutions for the new year. By far, the most common one I've heard is weight loss. People promise themselves to eat less and exercise more. This is especially common because New Years happens after the holiday season - the time when people 'over-eat'.
It’s no surprise that this holiday season I have been faced with more opportunities than I can count to eat cookies, candies, chocolates and pastries. They appear like magic, in every corner of every room. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the type to be offended by an offering of holiday treats of any kind. I’ll take them shaped like trees, glittered with festive sprinkles, or loaded with chocolate. What really bothers me is the mixed messages we seem to receive between the first cookie tray and the first day back at work or school.
The holiday season has begun. I love this time of the year - everyone's excited as Christmas comes along, the winter means that it'll soon be snowy out, and there's a well-deserved break from school and work.
Life sometimes gets so hectic. We become trapped between all the things that we have to do, and it seems impossible that we will be able to finish everything. I hate feeling stressed. I've learned some interesting things about stress during my studies... mainly, that stress has many negative impacts on our bodies and functioning. Stress releases cortisol, a hormone that breaks down our muscles to make energy from the protein. Too much cortisol can also cause memory loss, as well as suppress the immune system – so it becomes easier to get sick.
School is starting and I'm feeling mixed emotions about this. The great thing is that I will be back at my university studying what I love best - nursing. The workload is heavy and tough but I love learning about my future career. I love seeing my friends and having a good laugh. I enjoy practicing my skills on dummies (it actually is pretty fun...!)
I participated in a group discussion recently regarding perfectionism. We were given a list of types of perfectionism – physical, achievement, perceived, emotional, self-esteem, relationship, etcetera. With so much talk about wellness and balance, I think sometimes I fall into balance perfectionism. Maybe some of that comes from the notion of being able to have it all – or even having to do my wellness "perfectly".
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