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My instinct when asked about my eating disorder is to mystify my “heroic journey” to recovery. Through snarky and impactful commentary, I often simplify the root of my mental disorder to avoid difficult questions. However, a key yet disregarded, element to my story is that for a very long time, I didn’t want to be a woman.
*Trigger Warning*
I’ve received treatment more times than I care to count, for a larger array of issues than I care to admit, namely for anorexia nervosa in a variety of settings, inpatient, residential, outpatient, psychiatry wards and medical wards.
Image Credit: UnSplash
I fear that I am the elephant
And not because of the majestic size of my body, or the beautiful wrinkles of my skin
But the elephant in the room
Twitter Chat
We kicked off the week with an engaging twitter chat to start the conversation about why we participate in Eating Disorder Awareness Week and why it matters. Here are some of the highlights from that conversation:
"None of my actions were a choice - they were an illness, a coping mechanism that allowed me to disguise my insecurities, pain, trauma, self-hate, and complete belief that I was not enough, that I would never be enough."
Image Credit: UnSplash
Originally posted on Ravishly.
Frequently, I get messages from people – usually cis men who are dating cis women, but not always – asking me what the hell they’re supposed to do when their partner talks negatively about their own body.
“She’s unhappily gained weight since we’ve been together, and I know saying ‘I still think you’re beautiful’ confirms the idea that fat is bad,” they say.
Image Credit: UnSplash
Trigger Warning: this blog contains discussion of disordered eating behaviour, read at your own descretion.
I’m going to be writing about poop and digestion. Ugh. Right? I thought you needed fair warning.
One of the benefits of recovery from an eating disorder is being able to answer the call of nature. It sounds simple, and it is, but for someone with a history of an eating disorder, digestion is complex and life changing. For many years, and still today, my internal pipes are quite stubborn. They are angry, erratic, loose, retentive, and just plain impossible. That said, since committing to recovery, my digestion rewards me with more success than disappointment.
"If we think we ‘cannot’ or ‘do not’ deserve something then I can promise you, we will not put our energy into making it happen. As, we already are starting from a place of defeat."
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